scared

i am scared, for the first time in a long time. i am scared that i did something horrible that i don't know about or don't remember and that jon will bring it up to talk about. i am scared that he has a reason to hate me like he seems to. i am scared that he has changed so much from the person that i knew that he doesn't have a reason for being this mad. because i don't want to think about what that would mean. i am scared about being wrong and even more scared about being right.