there was a man who was an alcoholic. he had two sons and he spent his life drinking himself away, and embarasing his family.

one son grew up to be an alcoholic, drinking away his money and shaming his family. his wife left him and his children hated him.

the other son grew up to be a doctor with a steady career, a devoted wife and a loving family.

when the first son was asked "why are you like this? what made you this way?", he said "my dad was an alcoholic, what else could i do?"

when the other son was asked "why are you like this? what make you who you are?" he said
"my father was an alcoholic, what else could i do?"

bullet to the brain pan ... squish

*name the movie (see title) and get a cookie*

cuddle your hurt like a baby
hold it to your breast
and let it suckle at the teat
of childish emotions
and spiteful thoughts.
nurture your pain as if
to drain yourself,
and let it consume you.
hug it close,
let it harden and shrink
into that tiny rock
of ever-sustaining,
so very brightly
burning anger

and immolate yourself.

freakin' awesome!!!

Albert Einstein
You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.

Bill Maher:
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."

John F. Kennedy
Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind.

M. C. Escher:
I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.

Plato
Only the dead have seen the end of the war.

dear amy... signed, ostracized in Normal

needing advice, i'm not sure where to go down here. back home i have a few friends that i know i can trust and ask for advice.
i have a few people who are mine down here, but no one that i feel i can go to and that just sucks.

i spend almost every night at a friend's apartment. it is the general hang out for members of our "beat the hell out of each other in mideval clothing" group, also called wolfpack. the guy who i go to see pays rent but isn't on the lease. there are two people who are on the lease, and i get along with one of them really well, he is a sweetheart and we are comfortable with each other. the other guy seems to have a knack for being blunt and cruel. i will make a joke that doesn't involve him and he will respond like i was serious. and i swear if i have to hear the "my house, my rules" speech one more time, i'll scream.
i love going to this apartment, it's where i hang out with friends down here, but i just can't connect with this guy and i don't know if he dislkes me or if that's just how he is, but regardless, i'm worried that i won't be able to just ignore it and i'll snap on him, which i don't want to do. but i'm sick of putting up with him.

why do i feel like i'm writing to "ask amy"?

new direction

so, not knowing what i could poosibly do for a living, i have decided to head in the direction of a field that needs people, even if i have no idea if i want to do it or not.
Nursing!!!

i find it hard to write without the depression that i had before. but i think this is a good thing. happy but can't write for a damn. oh well, i'll write again if i need to.