chicago

late nights spent
breathing on unison
moving in concert
stroking with all the
desperation
of empassioned lovers
and
early mornings spent
sighing together
chests rising and falling
in unison
shifting in concert
and running our hands
finger be finger
along a back, a chest
a stubbly cheek
with all the comfort
of two people
in love.

as the days drift by
slowly,
blurring together
i think i'm falling into a sea of apathy.

i have a hard time remembering what day it is these days. my only reminder is my meds, and sometimes my work schedule. graduating really fucked my social and temporal equilibrium. the bastards are making life hard even after i have left!

and i seem to be writing bad poetry. oh crap! i've gone emo!
someone please put me out of my misery!!!
(way too much sugar and sex)

i really do miss the time and inspiration i used to have to write. i'm happy now, being with dessi, but being happy has killed my ability to write well. i'm glad about the current situation, but i wish i could put out the stuff i used to, i think i was really good.
i guess i just have to resolve to set aside time to sit down and write, and hope something good comes out.

me

normal life, happy times

feeling terrible.
mononucleosis is a virus, commonly known as the kissing virus. it is usually transmitted by saliva. once you get it, it never leaves your system. your symptoms go away, but it stays in your nervous system, and every once in a while you become contagious. there is no way to tell when short of a blood test.
i got mono about a year and a half ago. now dessi has it, badly. i feel bad because it is hell for him. i worry about him, because he is sick and hurting and on pretnazone, a steroid that makes you hell to be around and makes you crazy and sad and horny and want to cry. he is also cutting down on smoking, which makes the whole situation even harder for him to deal with.
i play nurse when i can get down to chicago, making/getting him food and drink and talking with him and keeping him occupied. but the only thing that will make him better is time.
we will get through this, but until we do he can't drink or fuck or fight or smoke and i know it's hard for him.
i don't mind taking care of him; i love him and i'm glad that i can help.
i just wish he wasn't going through this.

at krink's house, have a surprise for dessi the next time i see him... (hehehe)

facets or faces

we are many things for many different people.
for amanda i am a bad-ass, i would take care of anything
for my parents i am the scholar
for many people i am the mother
for dessi i am, simply me

but what i want to know is, in the early hours of the morning, when everyone is asleep and the moonlight shines in on the mirror, what are you for you?

simply put, i don't know yet...