emotions... interesting

so, mayhaps the demons of my past have decided to find more willing prey. i don't know, but i'm releived not to have found any more foliage on the front porch.
new guy, one who doesn't need me to be his income supply, or his sex toy (although i'm more than willing, but it's a two-way thing), or his entertainment, or his keeper. he seems to be considering making nice with his old friend. you know, the kind that sucks your will to live? that would be interesting, i don't play well with those who have fucked me over. angel found that out quickly enough. *chuckle*
not the point, on to happier things.

drifting contentedly on the streams
of steady jobs and frequent phone calls.
complacent water but for the few ripples,
smoothed over by the murmurs of affection.
nights spent in happiness, with my everything,
passion like no other,
breathtaking, giving,
loving.
and later, with his arm under my shoulder
and one around my waist,
staring, drifting, floating
in those eyes,
the closeness of skin on skin,
and the feel of his heart beating
against my bare chest.

life is good right now, and that's all i can ask for.

the true, the emotional, and the dark (hehehe)

(for dessi)

those chocolate brown eyes
like glass-paned windows
streaked with misery
looking down into the
tortured soul
of a soldier angel.
that wry grin,
the most painful mask
for a bleeding heart
but sometimes i see a real smile
shining through
just for me.
that muscled body,
back and shoulders
flexing in time
to a lover's rythym
softly, tenderly
wild and passionate.
my prince, my king
my god of love,
my everything.

(for everyone who never wanted me as i am)

please let me be your
everything
your anything,
whatever you
want
need
wish
like
lust
for me to be.
please let me be
your doormat
your goddess
your punching bag
your whore
your entertainment.
please give me
a task
a role to play for you
define me so that i may be
the me that you love.

there is nothing left
of me,
only overlaid
shadows,
faded prints
of the portraits
you have painted
in my place;
as your desire.

- me, still me, ALWAYS me.